Resourceful Resilience

Resilience is not just your ability to bounce back, but also your capacity to adapt in the face of challenging circumstances, whilst maintaining a stable mental well-being (MIND). Resilience is related to the capacity to activate the prefrontal cortex and calm the amygdala. When this happens, the physiological changes that are triggered by stress start to reverse, expanding the capacity to recover from, adapt to, or find a solution to stress, challenge or adversity.

Resilience is not genetically defined and can be strengthened at any age. We can change the wiring of the brain through the experiences we expose it to. So, our resilience pathways in our brain and bodies develop through our infant years and can be advanced, changed and fine-tuned even into older age.

If you are someone who can generally cope with change and ‘pick yourself up’, you may be called resilient. If you struggle with change and ‘climbing back on the horse’ you may need some skills to up-your-resilience. This is especially important if you are feeling out of control and overwhelmed often.

Characteristics of resilient people are:
- having a feeling of control over the things they can control
- being able to problem solve
- having strong sense of community
- identify as able to cope (not as a victim)
- being able to ask for help.

Skills to Improve Resilience from MIND

Life style changes: practice being assertive and communicating what you want and need clearly, using relaxation techniques, develop your interests and hobbies, make time for friends and find balance in your life
Look after your physical health: get enough sleep, be active and eat healthily
Give yourself a break: reward your achievements, get a change of scenery, take a break or holiday, resolve conflicts and forgive yourself
Build your support network: tell friends and family how you feel, get support at work, uni or college, share your experiences with peer support, use specialist websites and organisations, your GP and local MIND

Remember:

- Flexibility is an essential part of resilience. So, practice, where you can and within your limits, being flexible. Change the date in your diary and make an unplanned decision to see a friend.
- Having confidence in your own ability to cope with the stresses of life can play an important part in resilience.
- In the face of crisis or tragedy, finding a sense of purpose can play an important role in resilience.
- Resilient people are able to view these situations in a realistic way and then set reasonable goals to deal with the problem.

Much of the above is about good self-care, using skills and perspective. Please see the previous ‘honest self-care’ and ‘understanding change’ blogs to help you further with resilience.

https://www.mind.org.uk/information-support/types-of-mental-health-problems/stress/developing-resilience/#collapse67c85
https://www.heysigmund.com/building-resilience-children/
https://www.verywellmind.com/ways-to-become-more-resilient-2795063
https://www.verywellmind.com/characteristics-of-resilience-2795062

Sleep

I have recently read a book about sleep. ‘Why we sleep’ by Walker, M. has been a fascinating read. There are lots of gems in this book, but to save you time and/or to spark your interest to get the book, here are a few scary facts about sleep along with some pointers on how to sleep well.

You have a natural sleep cycle which is called the circadian rhythm which helps dictate when you feel sleepy and when you feel awake. This rhythm is why we feel sleepy after lunch. Teenagers circadian rhythm naturally differs from adults, making it hard for them to sleep before 11pm. We also have a thing called sleep pressure which builds and builds throughout the day. This pressure to sleep will only drop once we sleep.

You have a NREM phase which is the deep sleep phase, this is when memories are stored. It is bursts of electrical activity called spindles on long brain waves that store memories helping them to not be forgotten. REM sleep brain waves appear to look a lot like awake brain waves. This is when dreaming (considered a natural therapy, in most cases) takes place. The amount of REM and NREM sleep changes significantly throughout a person’s life span. For example, deep quality sleep reduces as you become older which contributes to cognitive decline and Alzheimer’s.

We need sleep before and after learning and without sleep we struggle to absorb new memories. Pulling ‘all nighters’ before an exam leads to a 40% deficit in learning. In those who are sleep deprived, there is no memory storing activity found in an MRI scan of the hippocampus. 

Men who sleep 5 hours a night have smaller testicles that those who sleep 7 hours or more and a lack of sleep will age a man by 10 years. Sleep loss affects the immune system. With only 4 hours of sleep on one-night, one time, this leads to a 70% drop in killer cell activity. Lack of sleep will erode your DNA. Losing one hour of sleep is enough to impact your cardiovascular system, and so with daylight saving time, when we lose 1 hour sleep there is a 24% increase in heart attacks for that day. Likewise, there is a 21% reduction in heart attacks when we gain 1 hour sleep. Similar stats can be found for suicide rates and car crashes etc. The link between cancer and lack of sleep is so strong that the WHO has classified any form of night-time shift work as a probable carcinogen (a substance capable of causing cancer in living tissue). Ultimately, the shorter the duration of sleep and the poorer the quality of sleep, predicts mortality.  

Remember, there is no such thing as making up for lost sleep.  Sleep is a non-negotiable biological necessity. People are embarrassed to prioritise sleep and so currently there is a silent sleep loss epidemic.

Ways to improve sleep:

1.       Stick to a sleep schedule - regularity is key to improve quality and quantity

2.       Exercise but not too late in the day

3.       Avoid caffeine and nicotine

4.       Avoid alcoholic drinks before bed

5.       Avoid large meals before bed

6.       Some medicines can disrupt sleep, talk to your health care provider if you think this is the case

7.       Don’t take naps after 3pm if you can help it

8.       Relax before bed (meditate, read)

9.       Take a hot bath before bed

10.   Have a dark, cool, gadget free bedroom

11.   Get some natural light during the day

12.   Don’t lie in a bed waiting to sleep, do something else and then go back to bed when you are sleepy

https://www.ted.com/talks/matt_walker_sleep_is_your_superpower?language=en#t-552544
Walker, M. (2018) Why We Sleep. UK: Penguin.

Massage

To Start, Here Are Some Massage Related Facts

- the skin is the largest organ of the body
- there are approximately 5 million touch receptors in our skin (3000 receptors are in the fingertip)
- a 60-minute massage can have the same good effects as 7 to 8 hours of sleep
- muscle nerve impulse travels at the speed of 390 feet per second, allowing us to feel everything in an instant
- more than 80 different types of massage treatments with emphasis on different body parts are available around the world
- when we receive a massage, our body releases endorphins which are natural pain killers
- massage effects many of the body systems including the lymphatic, muscular, skeletal, circulatory, digestive, endocrine… the list goes on!

History

Massage has been used throughout history to aid healing. Evidence that massage was practised exists in cave and tomb paintings. Egypt, Greece, China and India are amongst the countries that first started using massage as an aid to healing. There is evidence in museums that massage was practised in China around 3000BC. Ancient Chinese evidence shows lists of techniques which included pressure techniques (which could have led to acupressure and acupuncture). It was Peter Henry Ling (Swedish physiologist) that developed what is known today as Swedish massage and listed the many of the terms that are used today e.g. effleurage.

Philosophy

The basic philosophy of massage therapy is the belief that the body can heal itself. In massage, therapists can work the whole body with a range of techniques to reduce tension and improve relaxation. Other therapies focus on one area of concern. Massage can assist in improving skin condition, blood supply, lymph flow, mental well-being and physical well-being. There are many types of massage and some examples include: aromatherapy, sports, deep tissue, Swedish, acupressure, infant/child massage, Thai, hot stone and lymphatic massage.  Many of these require further, specific training.

Client Consultations

Before a massage takes place, the therapist should ask the client several relevant questions including about their health and what they want from the treatment, amongst other things. All will be recorded on a few forms. Medical information is taken to ensure that the massage is safe to do, and if it is, what adjustments should be made to make it safer. What people can want from massage is: relaxation, stress relief, better sleep, improvement in mental health, better skin condition, feelings of well-being, an improvement of physical health, posture, muscle tension, lymphatic drainage, pain relief and improved energy levels. Treatments would be tailored to get the best results for the client. The client’s preferences should be taken in the consultation. A treatment plan may be devised if needed/wanted.

Techniques

Effleurage, petrissage, frictions, percussion or tapotement, vibrations and deep tissue work are some of the different techniques that a massage therapist could use to meet the clients needs/wants. The therapist will use their fingers/thumbs, hands, arms and elbows to get the desired effects for the client.  Each technique is unique but are used to complement each other to get the best results.

Massage Mediums

Wax, oil, power and creams/lotions can be used in massage. Often the client will have a preference but so will the therapist. For example, lots of therapists prefer the use of either oil or wax for massage performance, cost implications and effect on the skin (mediums used vary and can be dependant on the type and location of massage).

After Care Advice and Feedback

The client may be given some aftercare advice, some of this will be the same for most people e.g. drink water and rest. Some advice will be specific to the client e.g. asking the client to consider speaking with their GP about a medical condition. A number of things that may happen to the clients body following treatment such as increased urination, this will be explained in after care advice.
This is the clients time to give verbal feedback. Being honest with your therapist is welcomed, this makes your treatment more personalised next time.

https://www.myohealingmassage.com/fun-facts-massage/
https://www.swizzlesticks.com/blog/49-blog.html

Understanding Change

Here are two models to help explain change.
1. Process of Transition: expected and unexpected, wanted and unwanted change.
2. Stages of Change: generally regarding wanted change.

Life is full of change and transitions. Change occurs in all areas of our lives: work and relationships, changes in our physical and mental health, and new events in our local communities and our world. Sometimes it is expected change and sometimes it comes along unexpectedly. Change can be pretty hard to deal with, especially when it’s an unwanted surprise and is being imposed upon us. It makes us feel uncertain about things (read a previous post called ‘Managing Uncertainty’ for more on this). Yet change can also be positive and motivating for some, especially if it’s your choice to change something.

Process of Transition

Fisher’s Process of Transition (2012) is a useful tool to identify where we each are in the process of change.

Try and think of something that is changing in your life and try and identify where you are using the descriptions below. Some people say you will experience all the stages, I say that’s not the case.  

Anxiety - the awareness that events lie outside your range of understanding or control.
Happiness - the awareness that your viewpoint is recognised and shared by others, you may feel happy that change is going to happen.
Fear - the awareness of impending change in your core behavioural system, fear may lead you to resist change.
Threat – you perceive a major change on what you believe to be your identity, you realise that change will have a fundamental impact on who you are, threat is another reason you resist change.
Guilt – you begin exploring how you acted and reacted in the past, you are now redefining your sense of self.
Depression - this phase is characterised by a general lack of motivation and confusion, you are uncertain as to what the future holds, the previous undermining of your core sense of self leaves you with no clear vision of how to operate.
Gradual Acceptance – here you begin to make sense of your environment and of your place within the change.
Moving Forward - in this stage you are starting to exert more control, make more things happen in a positive sense and are getting your sense of self back.
Disillusionment - the awareness that your values, beliefs and goals are incompatible with those of the force of change/the change itself.
Hostility - the continued effort to predict that the change will lead to failure.
Denial - this stage is defined by a lack of acceptance of any change and denies that there will be any impact on yourself.
Anger - for where change is 'forced' on you, anger appears to be directed outward at other people, inward anger can be related more to the depression and guilt stages.
Complacency – it is possible that you feel that you have, once again, moved into your 'comfort zone'

REMEMBER: As with any personal transformation, there are no clear boundaries to any of these stages. It is more of a gradual realisation that things have subtly changed.

Stages of Change

This model is about change of an individual which is intentional. The Stages of Change Model (Transtheoretical Model) was developed by Prochaska and DiClemente in the late 1970’s. It was developed through analysing the experiences of smokers who wanted to quit. They found that people quit smoking only if they were ready to do so. Behaviours do not change quickly, especially behaviour that is habitual. People can go through the cycle repeatedly.

After reading the stages below, try and think of where you might be in the cycle regarding something in your life, losing weight or stopping smoking (as examples).  

Pre-contemplation - In this stage, people do not intend to take action in the foreseeable future (defined as within the next 6 months). People are often unaware that their behaviour is problematic or produces negative consequences. People in this stage often underestimate the pros of changing behaviour and place too much emphasis on the cons of changing behaviour.

Contemplation - In this stage, people are intending to start the healthy behaviour in the foreseeable future (defined as within the next 6 months). People recognise that their behaviour may be problematic, and a more thoughtful and practical consideration of the pros and cons of changing the behaviour takes place, with equal emphasis placed on both. Even with this recognition, people may still feel ambivalent toward changing their behaviour.

Preparation or Determination - In this stage, people are ready to act within the next 30 days. People start to take small steps toward the behaviour change, and they believe changing their behaviour can lead to a healthier life.

Action - In this stage, people have recently changed their behaviour (defined as within the last 6 months) and intend to keep moving forward with that behaviour change. People may exhibit this by modifying their problem behaviour or acquiring new healthy behaviours.

Maintenance - In this stage, people have sustained their behaviour change for a while (defined as more than 6 months) and intend to maintain the behaviour change going forward. People in this stage work to prevent relapse to earlier stages. Sometimes they will maintain their behaviours, and this will lead to ‘termination’ which is where people have no desire to return to their old ways. Sometimes people will maintain their behaviours for a short while and then relapse.

Skills

It would be rude to leave you without any skills to help with some of the less pleasant experiences that can come from change.

1.       Think about another time you went through change. How did that go?

2.       Decide upon the best and worst-case outcomes from the change. Could you deal with the worst-case outcome?  Can you focus on the best possible outcome?

3.       Remind yourself about what is in your direct control.

4.       Accept the things that are out of your control and realise that because you have accepted this, you are no longer involved in a war you were never going to win.

5.       Seek out the little positives, do this actively, they can be hard to find.

6.       Try some problem-solving techniques or set some goals to proactively address any challenges (especially if you keep going around the change cycle).

7.       Manage any stress (you know best how to do this) but meditation and mindfulness are always great.

8.       Practice your best self-care. Take that bubble bath and have an early night.

9.       Check if you are slipping into negative thought patterns (please see previous post)

10.   Remind yourself of your priorities, for example, yes, your job is changing but your family has and always will be more important to you.

You may be completely overwhelmed if the change you’re facing is really big, or there’s too much change happening all at once. You may be struggling to get out of a habitual cycle. This is when it might be best to seek support. Consider asking friends or family for help or emotional support. You may need to consider seeking professional advice.

With these two models and a few tips, I hope change has been somewhat explained and made it accessible. Work with the best model that suits you. Feel free to ask me any questions!

References
http://sphweb.bumc.bu.edu/otlt/MPH-Modules/SB/BehavioralChangeTheories/BehavioralChangeTheories6.html https://www.businessballs.com/change-management/personal-change-stages-john-fisher/ https://au.reachout.com/articles/7-tips-for-dealing-with-change https://www.psycom.net/dealing-with-change
http://thinkspace.csu.edu.au/sarahpatterson/2017/10/27/fisher-change-model/ https://blog.braive.com/cycle-of-change-3188d0228ad5

The Moon

The moon is considered a female and so is referred to as ‘she’. The moon is also commonly associated with women. It is believed that the moon governs fertility, emotions and monthly cycles.

There are a few theories that try and explain where the moon came from…

Moon birth theories:

1. The moon was part of the earth and when the earth collided with another planet (Theia, 4.4bn years ago), the moon was separated and is now in earths pull.
2. The moon was formed by gravity pulling together bits of residue at the same time as the earths creation.
3. The earth caught the drifting moon in its pull.
4. Two small moons crashed together to form one, which would account for two different sized hemispheres.

The moon is also associated with the number 13, perhaps because she moves 13 degrees a day and orbits the earth 13 times in one year. Each phase of the moon occurs on average once a month. The lunation cycle takes 29.5 days to complete. Interestingly, Stone Henge has 30 stones but one of them is half the width of the others. The moons radius is 1,080 miles while the earths radius is 3,960 miles. The moon is not spherical and so the larger hemisphere is always pulled towards the earth by gravity. We never see the dark side of the moon from earth, but the dark side will become lit when we have our new moon.  

In old English ‘Lunatic’ literally translated to ‘moon sick’ and the Latin ‘Lunaticus’ referred mainly to epilepsy, madness and diseases thought to be caused by the moon. Aristotle (Greek philosopher) and Pliny the Elder (Roman author, a naturalist and natural philosopher) believed ‘the moist organ’ (the brain) were influenced by the pull of the moon, just as the tides are today.

NEW MOON: BEGINNINGS
The new moon represents the menstrual cycle. Historically women have taken time away from others at this time. Not only a fresh start, it is a time to retreat. Themes for this moon are clean slates, reboots and beginnings.

WAXING CRESCENT: SETTING INTENTIONS
The waxing moon represents intentions, hopes and wishes. After recharging, your desires are ready to be planted. Lay the groundwork and visualise the next project.

FIRST QUARTER: ACTION
We start to feel resistance in the form of obstacles. Themes for this moon are challenges, decisions and action. At this time, you must work harder than ever before.

WAXING GIBBOUS: REFINE
The themes surrounding this moon are adjustment, refining and editing. This moon will help you realise what you need to re-evaluate, give up or change direction on. Don’t resist the feelings of change but maybe you’ll need to make some sacrifices.

FULL MOON: HARVEST
At this time there is heightened tensions as you try and find balance. Emotions can run high at this time. The first full moon in September is traditionally when farmers harvest crops – be prepared to reap benefits.

WANING GIBBOUS: GRATEFUL
Themes surrounding this moon are gratitude, sharing and enthusiasm. You should feel the benefit of your hard work from the last weeks. You should start to see some outcomes from your goals. Now is the time that you will be feeling full of love.

LAST QUARTER: RELEASE
The themes that surround this moon are release, letting go and forgiveness. You will let go of all your anger and grudges. Cleanse, shed emotional weight and get ready to receive intentions.

WANING CRESCENT: SURRENDER
Surrender, rest and recuperate. You may feel empty during this time. Just relax and surrender to the universe. Recognise that things are out of your control. Fate will take its course.

Robin Heath
Elite Daily  

Honest Self-Care

There are many interpretations of what self-care is and how to go about it. One google away is a multitude of advice about how best to live your life. EXERCISE, EAT WELL AND SLEEP! Often people like to split up the different areas of self-care e.g. physical, emotional, social and spiritual. The trouble is, it is hard for anyone to know how to advise someone on something so personal. Only you know how and what changes you could make.

I believe that ‘self-care’ includes the concept of ‘mindful living’. Through living mindfully, you become conscious of your basic life choices. Simply put, mindful self-care is anything that we do slowly and deliberately, in order to take care of ourselves. Once we live in this way (consciously, deliberately and mindfully) we will see the positive impact on not only ourselves but others around us.

All too often, we can find ourselves mindlessly traipsing along on the treadmill of life, step after step, going through the motions, out of control. Self-care in its honest form is about taking back the reigns of the treadmill and slowing it down so you have time to think. If you drive a car, have you ever had to turn the music down so you can think well enough to cross a tricky junction? Turning down the music allows us to be more present and more deliberate. Once the music is turned down in your life, you can decide what is right for you and what you need. With honest self-care, you are making choices for your life with the intention of improving your well-being.

Some people find it useful to categorise their lives. Sleep, am I getting enough? Should I go to bed earlier? Diet, should I eat more veg? This may work for you and that’s okay. Sometimes though, this can be overwhelming trying to meet each of the categories ‘requirements’. One way to take care of yourself, deliberately and mindfully, is to adapt what you are already doing, one small thing at a time. Spend longer in the bath, spend less time watching TV, put one less sugar in your tea…

So next time you are doing something mindlessly… Stop. Breathe. Make a conscious choice. You can still eat chocolate and have a takeaway while being self-caring and improving your well-being. You don’t need to go on a strict no-carb diet. You don’t need to walk to work every day, but in the same breath, you can if that’s what is right for you. You do you, just do it slowly, deliberately, mindfully and consciously. This is NOT selfish.

Read that book that’s been on the shelf for a year, take that annual leave, go to bed early one night, have a takeaway with your family, wake up earlier to do yoga, colour that colouring book, get a mattress topper to make your bed more comfy, day dream, sit outside, borrow your friends dog, potter around the garden shed, write your diary, dance in the shower… you choose, your options are endless.

Bees

Over 270 species of bee have been recorded in Great Britain, of which more than 200 species are solitary and need individual nests. Honeybees and bumblebees live socially, led by a queen and serviced by male drones and female worker bees. Bees are not well understood even though they have been producing honey for at least 150 million years. 80% of pollination of fruit, vegetable and seed crops are accomplished by honeybees.

Honeybees have four wings and their wing stroke is 11,400 times per minute (this makes the buzz noise). On average they fly at a rate of 12 miles per hour. They have 5 eyes and can see in colour but are more sensitive to blue and ultraviolet light; they cannot see red. Also, bees' eyes are sensitive to polarized light, which penetrates through even thick cloud, so bees can ‘see’ the sun in poor weather. Bees use the position of the sun to navigate and there is evidence of their sensitivity to the earth’s magnetic field. Honeybees communicate with each other by ‘dancing’. Honeybees have particular smells which are like identification badges which they can show at the hive entrance to the guard bees. A queen bee lays 1,000-1,500 eggs per day (which is often twice their body weight). The baby honeybees are taught how to make honey by more experienced bees, they aren’t born knowing. Some worker bees are nurse bees, their job is to feed the larvae.

In cold months, honeybees take short ‘cleansing’ flights only. They do not die over winter, they feed on the honey collected in warmer months. The come together in the hive to keep the queen and themselves warm. It takes just under 16kg of honey for the bees to the survive the winter.

In summer months, a healthy hive will house approx. 50,000 bees. They store their honey in wax honeycomb. Only the female workers and the queen can sting. In order to produce 0.5kg of honey, 2 million flowers must be visited and 55,000 miles will be covered in order to do this. The honeybee will visit 50 to 100 flowers in one collection flight before returning to the hive. The average worker bee will produce a 12th of a teaspoon of honey in its lifetime. Between 27kg-45kg of honey will be made by one bee colony in one year.

Sadly, since 1900, the UK has lost 13 species of bee, and a further 35 are considered under threat of extinction. Land use, habitat loss, disease, pesticides, farming practices, pollution, invasive non-native plant and animal species, and climate change could all be reasons for their decline.

Planting flowers rich in nectar will really help bees find the food they need. Choosing local, British honey will lend your support to our honeybees and their beekeepers. Encouraging your friends and neighbours to do the same will help create bee-friendly communities. Bees are crucial in the countryside but they’re essential in the city too. A wild window box in the middle of the urban jungle has great value.

Free wild flower seeds (all you need is two stamps and two envelopes) - https://www.justbeedrinks.co.uk/seeds/
Build a bee hotel - https://friendsoftheearth.uk/bees/make-a-bee-house
Donate to Friends of the Earth and get your ‘Bee Saver Kit’ - https://friendsoftheearth.uk/bees/donate-save-britains-bees-get-your-bee-saver-kit-today

Golden Blossom Honey
Friends of the Earth
The British Bee Keepers Association

Challenging Unhelpful Thoughts

Thought challenging is an untangling technique for the mind. It asks that you consider things from a different perspective.

Firstly, thought challenging can feel unnatural, especially for the first few times. It would be advised that you use this technique at home for thoughts that have some flexibility and aren’t particularly upsetting. If you have a friend or family member you trust and find non-judgemental, it can be helpful to work with them, as they can offer a different perspective. Write down your answers and findings. Do something pleasant and relaxing after this activity, to give yourself some head space. To tackle heavily fixed thoughts, or incredibly upsetting thoughts, you may need help from a professional.

Here we go!

1.       Can you identify the type of unhelpful thought? Or any patterns of unhelpful thinking? SEE PREVIOUS POST.

2.       Is there any evidence that contradicts this thought (please see below for an activity*)?

3.       What would you say to a friend who had thought this in a similar situation?

4.       What are the costs and benefits of thinking this way?
Costs:
Benefits:

5.       How will you feel about this in 6 months’ time?

6.       Is there another way to look at the situation?

*Some find it helpful to imagine the thought is being questioned in court.
Write everything down that is EVIDENCE that the thought is true
Write everything down that is EVIDENCE that the thought is false

-This does not work if you include opinion or include other unhelpful thinking types as evidence
-You can be as creative as you like with this, fancy dress is nothing to be ashamed of!

Finally

Try to remember that thoughts are only thoughts, they have the weight and importance that you give to them.

Following this template successfully should provide you with a BALANCED THOUGHT!

MoodJuice
innermelbpsychology

Identifying Unhelpful Thoughts

The first step to challenging unhelpful thoughts, and therefore breaking unhelpful thought patterns, is to identify your unhelpful thoughts.

1.       Mind Reading – assuming we know what others are thinking

2.       Predicting – believing we know what will happen in the future

3.       Comparing – seeing the positive in others and the negatives in ourselves

4.       Self-Critiquing – putting ourselves down and blaming ourselves for things that are not our complete responsibility

5.       Should and Must – saying we should or must do something puts pressure on ourselves and sets up unrealistic expectations

6.       Catastrophising – imaging the worst will happen

7.       Emotional Reasoning – if I feel this bad, it must be this bad

8.       Molehills – exaggerating the risk or the negatives

9.       Judgements – making a judgement rather than what we can actually see or have evidence for

10.   Black and White – believing that something can be either good or bad rather than somewhere in the middle

11.   Memories – unreliable source of information which can cause distress in the present

12.   Noticing Filter – looking through blinkers, seeing what we want to see, thinking what fits, catching negativity in your mental fishing net and letting the positivity get through

EVERYONE has or continues to experience some of these unhelpful thoughts in their life.

For now, try to think of examples in your own life where you have engaged with unhelpful thinking. How to challenge these thoughts will come later!

Simply Meditation

What is it?

Where did it come from?

How does it help?

What types are there?

How do I do it?

Meditation is a practice where someone uses a technique/s (e.g. mindfulness or visualisation) to train attention and awareness. It is often an activity to achieve a mentally clear, emotionally calm and stable state. By its nature, meditation is hard to define. Some words that could be connected to meditation are contemplation, thought, consideration, reflection, prayers, deliberation and study. The English word “meditation” stems from meditatum, a Latin term meaning “to ponder”. The purpose of meditation is whatever the person needs (e.g. relaxation or being in the present) but some would say that the overarching purpose is to reach a heightened level of (spiritual) awareness.

Meditation is believed to have been practised thousands of years ago in India, by Hindu traditions. The practice was quickly adopted by neighbouring countries and formed a part of many religions throughout the world. Meditation is now often practised by individuals who do not affiliate with any particular religion.

Physically, stress stimulates the sympathetic nervous system, causing a surge of adrenaline and cortisol. Too much adrenaline can increase the risk of heart attacks and strokes. Too much cortisol can increase blood sugar levels, suppress the immune system and constrict blood vessels. Eventually, chronic spikes in stress hormones can lead to an increase in blood pressure, heart rate and cholesterol level, disrupting immunity, energy levels and sleep.

Stress reduction is important because it lowers blood pressure, heart rate and oxygen consumption, which results in higher energy levels, better immunity and sleep. Plus, stress reduction is key for diminishing the physical symptoms of many health conditions. When the body and mind are relaxed, the parasympathetic nervous system is stimulated, causing the body to stop releasing stress hormones. Many people who meditate regularly have learned to condition their body to relax on demand, and according to research, can effectively manage stress this way.

Well known positive psychological side effects of meditation are increased awareness, resilience, focus, clarity, compassion and a sense of calm. Meditation has been found to reduce anxiety and depression.

How to meditate in different ways:

Mindfulness Meditation
Pay attention to your thoughts as they pass through your mind. Remain aware and present in the moment. Try not to judge your thoughts.

Spiritual Meditation
Reflect on the silence around you and seek a deeper connection with your God or Universe.

Focused Meditation
Concentrate using any of your five senses (for example, count beads or observe a candle flame).

Movement Meditation
Practice yoga, walk through the woods, garden, do Thai Chi and any other gentle forms of motion.

Mantra Meditation
Use repetitive sounds to clear the mind (words, phrases, or sounds).

Transcendental Meditation
Think silently of a mantra without contemplation or concentration. It requires little effort. The goal is to rise above your current state of being.

Loving Kindness Meditation (Metta Meditation)
Open your mind to receiving love and kindness. Then send messages of loving kindness to the world or people. Repeat the message many times.

Body Scan and Progressive Relaxation
Start at one end of your body and work through the whole. Notice how your body feels. Squeeze muscles and let go of the tension.

Breath Awareness Meditation
Breathe slowly and deeply, counting your breaths or focusing on your breaths.

Kundalini Yoga Meditation
Practice yoga that blends movements with deep breathing and mantras.

Zen Meditation
Practice mindfulness often and with discipline.

Guided Meditation (Guided Imagery or Visualization)
Form mental pictures or situations that you find relaxing. Use as many senses as possible, such as smell, sounds, and textures which evoke calmness. This may be led by someone else.

Vipassana Meditation
Pay disciplined attention to physical sensations in the body, to establish a deep connection between the mind and body; and you may transform yourself through self-observation.

Chakra Meditation
Focus on the seven main energy centres in your body, visualise its colour. Use relaxation techniques to bring balance and wellbeing to your chakras.

If you would like to chat about meditation, go to contact and simply send me a message!

Managing Uncertainty

Uncertainty…

A different perspective, a challenging view and a few tips. Read with an open mind.
You may or may not get something from this, I guess it’s uncertain.

Humans are simple creatures. We like to sit in the same chair we sat in yesterday. We like to eat familiar foods. We go on holiday; we enjoy it and then we look forward to coming home so we can sleep in our own beds. Humans are also natural pattern spotters. We expect that through investigation we can identify the force that caused the pattern or apparent random happening. Understanding the probable cause gives humans hope that we can improve predictability and therefore safety. If we can remove uncertainty, we can increase predictability. Predictability means always behaving or occurring in the way expected. Predictability is known to improve humans’ sense of safety.

Our nervous system responds to certainty and uncertainty. Our parasympathetic nervous system (think parachute bringing us back to earth) keeps our heart rate steady and relaxes our muscles. Our sympathetic nervous system triggers in the face of uncertainty and threat, this is what makes our heart beat fast and moves our blood to more useful parts of our body. When we freeze, the amygdala (part of the brain that detects danger) tells the body to stop moving (could be compared to natures ‘playing dead’). We are literally hard wired to keep ourselves safe.

Unfortunately, the general public, the layman, the average girl and guy does not have the theoretical understanding of quantum physics and data etc. to find the answer to everything (except Stephen Hawking). For even if we could predict everything, who’s to say we could do anything about it anyway? We have to admit and accept that things will happen that are out of our control. We have to let go of our belief that we can solve, and therefore protect ourselves against everything predictable and unpredictable. Nature is often much smaller (tiny little cells) and bigger (tsunamis), stronger and more chaotic than what we care to admit. Just watch something ft. David Attenborough!

We try and guess the future (whether that is based on codes, the news or our imagination) to try and prepare, as one of the most powerful influences on fear is uncertainty. People tend to overestimate the risks and negative consequences (worst case scenario) that may result from a situation. If we are prepared for every eventuality we can feel less at risk, less in danger. But is this possible, to prepare for every eventuality? Do we have the resources? Or even the brain capacity/intellect as humans to do so? Humans prepared for a respiratory virus by stock piling toilet paper. I rest my case. A great quote from Psychology today says ‘I predict that far in the future, people will still be trying to predict what will happen far into the future’ (Ropeik, 2011).

Our brains are great tricksters, our memories are notoriously unreliable. We seem to downplay or forget what risk we have put ourselves in before. We chose to believe that we will die on an air-plane when the statistically highest risk of dying is in the car journey back from the airport to home. We continue to put ourselves at risk every day, even just by where we live, the climate we live in, the creatures we live around, the street we live on, the car we drive, the jobs we do… Yet we see these as certainties, as predictable. Is this because we are used to exposing ourselves to these risks every day, because we choose to deny our brains to worry about these risks or is ignorance really bliss?

So, we like predictability to keep us and our loved ones safe. We may or may not be able to act on, or prepare for, our perceived future based on our uncertainty. We may be subject to experiencing things that are out of our immediate control. We have experienced uncertainty before, we can experience it again.

What you can do:

ACCEPT
Accept that there is only so much you can do right now (this is accepting that you are human, not a powerful universe being). But just because you are only human (sorry) it does not mean you are powerless (horah). Things will unfold soon enough. In the meantime, the way you treat yourself and others, is in your control. Check in on your elderly neighbour. Walk your friends’ dog. Be as safe as you can be, not scared.

FLIP
We might try thinking through how things could go wrong. So, let’s try and flip our mindset, think opposite and think about how things can go right!

REFLECT
Reflect on what you did in the past to help you with uncertainty. Talking to family? Writing a worries list. Write an ‘in my control/ out of my control’ list. What ever worked before, do it again.

SEE THE POSSIBILITY
Uncertainty is scary and a threat, but uncertainty also means possibility and experimentation. What good thing ever happened without taking a little risk?

AVOID AVOIDANCE
Avoid avoidance… seems ironic right? The more we let worry and anxiety about the future eat us away, the more power it has. We become a shell of ourselves and lose those individual sparks we have.  Be realistic and as safe as you can be, but there are consequences for not facing your fears in some form (maybe with help).

Crystals

centre - rose quartz
12 o’clock - green aventurine
2 o’clock - amethyst
5 o’clock - blue apatite
7 o’clock - clear quartz
10 o’clock - yellow citrine

I have to say, I was a little sceptical about the use of crystals/stones in therapies generally. I had purchased a few rough stones (rose and clear quartz, amethyst, yellow citrine, green aventurine and blue apatite), mainly because they are lovely colours. I had used my green aventurine for when I had a cold months ago as green aventurine has healing influences on the sinuses and lungs, it is also good for guarding the body against infection (Hall, 2005). I went to sleep full of a nasty cold and woke up breathing freely without any respiratory blockages. The sceptic in me said it may have just been potluck rather than the stone.

After this, in all honesty, my collection at home got neglected. Until my wonderful massage course weekend this month. We played around with chakras and crystal pendants. Our teacher showed us that crystals respond to subtle energy vibrations (such as chakras). When we held a pendant over chakra areas on the body (spinning wheels of energy) the pendant too would move in the ‘wheels’ direction (unless there was a blockage, and we learnt how to help unblock this). The crystal responded to my teacher giving it directions. For example, my teacher said, ‘give me a yes’ and it moved, then when she said ‘give me a no’ it moved in a completely different way. I have to say, I now excited to use crystals more often for myself and in my therapies… if that is something my client is wanting.

At the moment, I use crystals in groups, letting participants pick a small tumble stone, and say why they were drawn to that one, in particular. We discuss what uses that stone could have for them (if they want to talk about it). I find crystals a useful tool to highlight to ourselves areas in life that need more time and attention.

A little about my small collection:

Rose Quartz – the master healer for the heart and emotions, a useful stone for love, grief and forgiveness, this stone can be used in trauma or crisis as it is deeply soothing and helps assist accepting change, helpful for mental clarity and clear expression, helps with self-acceptance. Healing influences on: heart, lungs, kidneys, genitals, liver, thymus, adrenal glands, circulatory and lymphatic systems and works on the heart chakra (Hall, 2005).

Clear Quartz – containing the full spectrum of visible light, clear quartz is the master healer for the mind and crown chakra, it works on many levels and can bring harmony to the entire body system, it amplifies energy and so can be useful if held during affirmations, it can unlock memories and strengthens concentration. Works on all organs, pituitary and pineal glands, immune system, and harmonises all chakras but actives the highest crown chakra (Hall, 2005).

Amethyst – the healer of emotions and spirit, activates intuition and focuses attention on higher realms, an effective pain reliever that transforms blockages at any level, boosts and regulates the production of hormones which can be beneficial for the menopause. Healing influences on: lungs, intestines, brain, pineal gland, many body systems, and works on the brow, throat and crown chakras (Hall, 2005).

Yellow Citrine – gentler than crystal quartz, capable of melting tension and pain, encourages the gentle flow of warming energies that create a sense of wellbeing and rebalances the body, dissolves stress caused by money worries, energises and balances the solar plexus chakra, being yellow in colour stands for happiness and knowledge. Healing influences on: memory, anxiety, depression, digestive system, allergies and detoxifies all chakras but opens the solar plexus chakra (Eason, 2001).

Green Aventurine – an excellent all-round healer bringing wellbeing and calm, it promotes tranquillity, resonates with the heart chakra so acts as a heart protector and healer, extends beyond the heart and neutralises the environment, a positive stone that attracts abundance and good fortune to life. Healing influences on: heart, lungs, sinuses, eyes, thymus and adrenal glands, connective tissue, nervous and muscular systems, works mainly on the heart chakra (Hall, 2005).

Blue Apatite - known for its power to achieve goals, clears away confusion, negativity, and then stimulates the expansion of knowledge and truth, a stone of the throat chakra, it helps with communication. Apatite helps eliminate over-activity, under-activity, blockages and congestion in all of the chakras. Healing influences on: bones and teeth, cartilage, and is useful in the treatments for rickets, joint problems, arthritis, and motor skills, it is generally supportive in healing all glands, meridians, and organs, and reduces hypertension (crystalvaults.com).

There is way more to know about these crystals, this is not an extensive list of their uses.

Massage Training

Massage Training

I have been looking forward to starting the massage course with Calming Influences for months! I have now started the course, assignments and case studies…

I attended my first day, with no idea what was in store. We covered some theory which was really interesting and met some of my course mates. I found it really strange the first time I used massage wax to massage a strangers forearm. Luckily, the teacher and my course mates are lovely so I didn’t have to worry. By the end of the day we had covered a variation of different massage techniques including, skin rolling, wringing, effleurage, hacking etc. and had the basics of a neck, shoulder and back routine. I did not feel confident at all and so a week later, I practiced on my partner. He told his friend it was good (I’ll take that!). I still didn’t feel confident though. I have now completed 8 massages from 35-55mins long and still don’t feel confident! I think with time and experience my confidence may grow. I also need to manage my own expectations about how good I should be at this stage in the course. Thinking positively, I massaged someone I didn’t know and they have asked for another (YES!) and from all 8 massages there has been no horrendous feedback!

Help me get some practice in and contact me for a free massage!!