Reflection. What is it anyway?
There are two ways to look at reflection.
1. Firstly, the reflection of light, the reflection in the mirror
2. Secondly, reflection in terms of deep thought or consideration
We are going to be looking at reflection as deep thought. Other words to describe this could be consideration, contemplation, rumination and musing.
We fall into the trap of rumination sometimes, going over and over something in our heads. Often this can be because of a really sticky memory, maybe its something trying to process, maybe the attached emotions about the memory or event that make them linger or the intensity or duration of what happened. We can find things really difficult to let go. Maybe we are trying to find answers to an unsolvable issue. If you catch yourself ruminating at unhelpful times or for too long you can begin to wonder “how is this helping me”? And, remember that are memories are often adapted in our mind unconsciously. Our memories are notoriously unreliable. Ask yourself how old that memory it is and ask if it is beneficial to reflect on a story that has been rewritten many times over the years.
Often reflection is a helpful tool. When you are in control of your reflections, it helps you create change in your life and make steps towards this change, it can be a tool to use in positive comparison “Look how far I’ve come”. With reflection you learn and you grow. You get to celebrate the little things and gain a sense of gratitude. With helpful reflection you learn from mistakes and become a better version of yourself. You get to know yourself on a deeper level. The sooner you reflect the more you can draw out.
The key to effective reflection is choosing: when (last thing at night when you are super tired and emotional?), where (in public, behind closed doors, in quiet place in nature) and who to reflect with (yourself, a friend, a professional). Ask yourself how might you reflect (verbally, written, creating art) and why, what purpose does this reflection have? This will help you get out of ruminating.
If you begin reflecting at a time, place etc. thats unhelpful to you, you can say to yourself “I accept the presence of these thoughts, I will make space for them this afternoon, I appreciate something needs to be processed or paid attention to here”. You may need to repeat this multiple times.